There is no evil aspect of love in the Ugly When You Love Me by Exzenya but it would creep up on you like, as it were, it was a feeling that you had been evading, and it has eventually caught up. She does not dramatize the subject but rather approaches it with precision because of her background in psychology and her independent artistry. The song does not scream betrayal, it gradually turns into how love can twist, that something that seemed to be comforting at first would begin to become claustrophobic, without you realizing that the transition has already taken place.
The slow realization is in her vocals. They are directed, borderline suppressed, like each word is given with the final gasp of air after long suppression of the truth. Coupled with cold synths and more restrained percussion, the production is alive but distant something beautiful that you cannot put all your trust in. It is the voice of disgust taking its place, not in anger, but in awareness.
It is cinematic but delving into your own soul like retroacting memories in your mind and realizing that something was awry at the very beginning. It is so uncomfortable when you are unprepared to be honest. I even felt that change in my chest--the silent knowledge that love will turn bitter gradually, and pass under the pretext of tenderness.
It is an abrupt transformation of the sound of Exzenya: it is louder, more emotional and even more hectic. It is already finding its audience among SoundCloud listeners, particularly those who listen to darker and deeply contemplative pop like Banks or Billie Eilish. But the voice of Exzenya is very much her own--rough and too human.
It is not only the darkness that has remained with you. It is the feeling of purity that follows. It is not a falling-apart song, but it is a song about realizing that it is time to name what hurt you, and leave it behind, but not having lost its power to change you, even with the scars left on you.
.jpg)
